She was able to do amazing things. Handstands, headstands, tricky samba-like steps; she was fast, flexible, elegant, attractive. Her movements were impeccable. She was an outstanding Capoiera dancer. Stunning. Jaw-dropping. I was impressed. (What a euphemism.)
We were at the concert of a band Shokoto (music from Ghana) and she was a guest. The dance she performed was Capoiera, combined with elements of samba and African rumba. Wonderful synergy. My cup of tea. I enjoyed every second.
However, I was jealous. A lot. My throat was burning. My eyes filled with tears. I know that feeling. Jealousy. Capoiera dancer made my night and ruined my night. But why? What made me feel envious?
Since I came to the US for my PhD, a lot of people started asking me about how I applied,searched, what was required and so on. Yesterday I talked to a friend about the process and she said: “Oh yes, the TOEFL. I would have to take TOEFL. Hmmmm…” I could sense hesitation and resistance in her tone. And I remembered myself at the same point. I was scared!
Many people told me: “TOEFL is really hard. It’s not the type of exam we got used to. Not everyone can pass it.” TOEFL was my Mount Everest. At certain point I started my prep, full of respect. It was not too bad. After a month or two I was ready and I passed TOEFL with an outstanding score. Continue reading
Confession: I feel lonely time after time. Since I moved to the US I changed my social habits a lot. I am alone more often than I used to be. Sometimes it is awesome and right what I need. But other times, it is a pure boredom. As an ambivert (combo of introvert and extrovert), I crave my own space and freedom, but I benefit greatly from contact with other people. (Aren’t we all wired that way?) Human energy is a potent fuel. It motivates and energizes.
It’s no secret that a loneliness can be a chronic disorder. Happy people have strong social networks. And I want to improve mine. Too often I catch myself bitching about how living in small town is such a misfortune. In fact, I am not using the full range of things this little town has to offer. I am inert. But I am willing to change. And have more fun. And friends. Here are some actions steps. Continue reading
Blank page stares at me again. Or I stare into it. One way or another, no action is happening. I feel blocked.
I wasn’t writing for almost a month. I haven’t exercised my idea muscles as intensely. Now I’m trying to come back to arena. And it’s hard. I get distracted easily. I am confused. I feel enormous resistance. And I don’t know what to write about.
I want something big and cool. I want something spectacular. (If I was silent for a month, now I’d better have something big. Which I don’t.) Blank page is still empty. Infinite possibilities behind it. (Most probable possibility is that I’ll check my Facebook once again.)
My question: ‘What should I write about?’ could be the answer. Thus I made this idea list. To help you and me and everyone else get unstuck. To start moving fingers over the keyboard in search of something. Will it be good? Who cares. Beat the Resistance today. That’s what Steven Pressfield taught me.
Next time when you don’t know what to write about, choose one of these 10 things and execute. Don’t judge. Just do it. Continue reading